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When Balance isn’t really Balance

June 27, 2008

I’ve written quite a bit about the importance of being balanced. I feel that to find success in any area of life, balance must be a part of the equation. But what kind of balance? Sometimes I can sit outside or take a day off or go somewhere else and feel like I have found balance. I can begin to hear my internal dialogue and interior silence grow. I can even have the beginnings of an enraptured feeling where I think I have it “all figured out”.

Is what I’m feeling true or not? You’ve probably experienced this before and wondered the same thing. I think that the only way we know if we are in balance is to be in balance in the regular rhythms of life.

Moments of self-discovery are essential, but can actually be detrimental if we lead a life hopping from one of those moments to another. Everything in life is balanced on the pivot of “now”. I have no control over event in the recent or far past; neither do I have any control over things yet to happen. The only place that I have any ability to “do” anything is right here, right now.

If the only way I can feel “in balance” is to escape living life in community, I have become severely off balance in both perspective and execution of life.

John Maeda is becoming a mentor-at-large. He had a conversation with a colleague about insecurity. And I think it has great significance on the idea of real balance. He said, “The thing about insecurity, is that if you are too insecure, then you don’t grow – because you’re paralyzed by fear of failure. On the other hand, if you have no insecurity, then you don’t grow either – because your head is so big you can’t recognize your failures.” The colleague replied, “Balance in all.” John continued, “If you are in the middle, however, you have to shift towards the edges and oscillate a bit in order to know if you are centered.” He responded, “You can get lost in the middle. You need mentors to give you courage.”

To this John questioned, “But all your mentors tend to go away as you age.” The answer, “Yes, because you don’t need them anymore.”

The key is to embrace the oscillation around center/balance, always checking that the pendulum doesn’t swing too far in any direction.

Categories: Awareness, Belief, Context, Creativity, Cultural Ideas, Influence, Life, Me, religion, Strengths

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Tiger Woods – “Yes He (and We) Can!”

June 24, 2008

OK we’ve seen the great Tiger win and win and win. Some have said he made a mistake to play while injured, I just think he is an animal. Also, for the record, I don’t think he’ll be out the entire season.

Chip Brown went to Florida in March to take a look at the Woods phenomenon. Brown looked at the relationship between Tiger and us, and how Tigers greatness fulfills a need for greatness the many of us have deep in our hearts.

Brown writes, “You’re writing about a relationship, and you’re projecting on to him. It has to do with what we bring to the theater. If we didn’t bring that ache, that hunger to see him prevail, then we wouldn’t find it answered in Woods. It’s an equation.”

“The subject himself is actually fairly mundane, especially when he doesn’t have a golf club in his hand.” He focuses on the fascinating thing that is created between Woods and his admirers.

“The poet David Ignatow wrote about that ‘wild third thing’, that thing that two people make in concert.” Brown says that the thing that drew him was the “strange equation between the champion and those who venerate him.”

“Truthfully, it seems only a matter of time before Tiger will be known as the greatest golfer who has ever lived. We will be watching him, needing him to be exceptional so that we can feel exceptional also. Tiger is that rare champion who can ‘carry us beyond ourselves.'”

Categories: Belief, Cultural Ideas, Influence, Life, People, Sports, Strengths

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Be like Jesus?

June 23, 2008

We all know and believe that Jesus had a purpose when He was born and in His death and resurrection He fulfilled His purpose. What does that mean for us when placed over the desire for us to “know our purpose” and to “be like Jesus”?

No I’m not proposing heresy, but I am asking that we look closer to the words we use. Cliches become cliches because of the truth they contain. However, through time, the words can lose their original meaning. Yes we all have a purpose, but it doesn’t mean we have only “one” purpose. Jesus fulfilled His purpose not by dying and being resurrected. He fulfilled His purpose by “doing what He saw His Father doing”, by divesting Himself of His own ego and allowing Himself to become “no-thing” that He might be used to do “some-thing”.

This is where we find the reality of our “purpose in life”. Our purpose is to have no purpose – only to do our Father’s bidding. To allow Paul’s old man to die, is to be released from the bondage to the egoic self, the false self and to “be” who God desires us to “be”.

Categories: Awareness, Belief, Cultural Ideas, Kingdom of God, Life, religion

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What does it mean to improve?

June 20, 2008

As a staff we have been to many conferences at or about Northpoint Community Church in Atlanta. During one of these [DRIVE Conference 2005], they shared that the momentum in an organization increases by either “new, improved or improving” ideas/facilities/volunteers/programs/etc.

This is a great idea, and one that continues to be a benchmark at Lifepoint when we evaluate whether to add to or subtract from some aspect of the church.

But what does it mean to improve? We can begin to think that to improve a program/ministry we need to add something to it. John Maeda, a favorite author/artist of mine in his book The Laws of Simplicity, explores in detail the notion of “improved” meaning to add on. In contrast he posits that to “improve” many times requires us to simplify and take away.

As you look at your life today, think of how you can improve one area by subtraction instead of addition.

Categories: Books I'm Reading, Creativity, Cultural Ideas, Life

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Anthony De Mello in conversation

June 18, 2008

In a couple of weeks I’ll be speaking about my One Prayer. I’ll let it out now and say that my One Prayer is that we be Aware. This is a concept that has been a part of my thinking for several years now. One of the books and authors that has had a great impact has been Awareness by Anthony De Mello.

This week a section of the book came up in a conversation with Mike our Executive Pastor here at Lifepoint. I thought I would share this liberating section with you.

“The great Socrates said, ‘The unaware life is not worth living.’ That’s a self-evident truth. Most people don’t live aware lives. They live mechanical lives…’My that’s a lovely shirt.’ You feel good hearing that. For a shirt for heaven’s sake! You feel proud of yourself when you hear that. People come over to my center in India and they say, ‘What a lovely place, these lovely trees’ (for which I’m not responsible at all), ‘this lovely climate.’ And already I’m feeling good, until I catch myself feeling good, and I say, ‘Hey, can you imagine anything as stupid as that?’ I’m not responsible for those trees; I wasn’t responsible for choosing the location. I didn’t order the weather; it just happened. But “me got in there, so I’m feeling good about “my” culture and “my” nation. How stupid can you get?….Indian culture has produced great mystics. I didn’t produce them. I’m not responsible for them. They tell me, ‘ That country of yours and it’s poverty – it’s disgusting.’ I feel ashamed. But I didn’t create it. What’s going on? Did you ever start to think? People say, ‘I think you’re charming’, so I feel wonderful. I get a positive stroke …I’m going to write a book someday and the title will be . “I’m an Ass, You’re an Ass”. That’s the most liberating, wonderful thing in the world, when you openly admit you’re an ass. It’s wonderful. When people tell me, ‘You’re wrong.’ I say, ‘What can you expect of an ass?”

Hope this helped to lighten your load as much as it did mine!

Categories: Awareness, Belief, Cultural Ideas, Life

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Father’s Day

June 15, 2008

How can I not write about Father’s Day. I am a father and it is the best thing in life to have two (I have two) charming princesses to love and help through the heights and depths of life. They teach me about myself and how to receive love, and hopefully I teach them what love is supposed to be about and give them the confidence to reach for the stars.

As I watch them grow and become young ladies I am amazed at the way the word “blossom” is not a cliche, it’s truth. They are becoming masters of subtlety both in observing and interacting. They see things in a different way and consistently astound me. Of course they are both different, but I see their mother in each one and know that because of that they will grow up to be women who know themselves and don’t cower to a set mold. They will be individual, independant and incredible.

As a father, how can I say more, but that each day I am thankful and grateful to be close enough to and aware enough of my girls to watch them transform from girls to women. What a beautiful mystery to see each day weave the intricate tapestry of my “two princesses of Georgia”.

Categories: Influence, Life, Me

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Insultants

June 14, 2008

Last week I read a book in which a key way to produce action and innovation within an organization is to activate “insultants”. I have to admit, at first I thought he was talking about having people who are free enough to tell you, the leader, the hard things and in fact, insult you. I was wrong.

The author used a different point of view on the idea of “consultants”. Typically consultants originate outside of an organization. They provide valuable insight because they are outsiders, however, that same reason – coming from the outside – blinds consultants from culture nuances and unsaid generally accepted protocols unique to different businesses.

The suggestion of “insultants” – consultants from within the business structure – is a great idea that has implications far beyond work environments. By giving some a responsibility to become aware and constructively question practices and actions, a wealth of information can be gleaned.

We can turn this practice to our own lives. If we do not have someone who knows our quirks and also has the freedom to tell us when we vear close to or cross the line, we should look at our relationship account and consider it lacking and in the red. The most valuable asset we can have are people who can constructively view our lives through the “who we are now” while looking toward the “who we want to be” and help us to get there.

If you don’t have a personal “insultant” hire one and you’ll be amazed at the difference a shift in perspective and a new voice can make.

Categories: Context, Creativity, Influence, Life, Me

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Real Success

June 10, 2008

I’m a quote guy. I love quotes. In fact, I think quotes are better than just rattling off some thought or idea because they have come out of someone else’s mouth. How many times, parents, have you told and retold your child something only to have them come back after hearing the same thing from another individual…and doing it.

Somehow hearing things from outside our normal “tribe” gives the words more meaning. David McCullough says that “real success is finding your lifework in the work that you love.”

When you have found a way to do something you love and get paid doing it, you have found true success. Look at your situation right now and ask the hard question, “Do I love, really love what I’m doing?” “Is what I’m doing something I would do even if I didn’t receive a paycheck?”

The answers to those questions will reveal the reality of your situation. It may be that you are not where you want to be. If you are young, you have time to find what really gives you joy. If you are older, you know what gives you joy, but it may not be the same thing you are employed to do.

Re-evaluation is key in all of the processes of life. Culture and time move on and we must adjust to remain relevant and able to contribute. Ask the hard questions and resolve to put action behind the answers. As Rob Schneider says in every Adam Sandler movie, “You can do it!”

Categories: Awareness, Context, Goals, Influence, Life, Strengths

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Another Hockey Quote

June 2, 2008

This time its from commentator Mike Emrich. He said, “Triple overtime, this hasn’t happened since 2002, a long time ago.”

Since when is 2002 a “long time ago”? I’ll go back to the 80’s, but even thinking the 80’s are “a long time ago” is a stretch. I remember when I was growing up (OK now I’m sounding old) that something had to be at least 40 or 50 years old to really be considered “old”.

Time does change as we age – at least our perception of time, but with that change in perception comes something else – wisdom. I know you were hoping for something more zen-like, but it is true. Wisdom increases along with age. My parents will love to hear this!

So the next time you hear a younger person talk about the ancient ways of Internet surfing way back in 2002, be aware that we probably also, in our younger years, decried the way our elders moulded the aluminum foil on the antennae of the TV as we stood by to change the channel.

Categories: Cultural Ideas, Life, Me, People

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Stanley Cup Finals

June 2, 2008

Alright guys, I love sports though I don’t look the part. That said, I’ve loved hockey for a long time and have looked on with a bit of question as the sport has gone down in public popularity. But I have to say that tonight was one of the best games I’ve seen.

One of the big qutes I got was “Don’t try to referee the game just play.” How true is that in the way we work in both church and life. If we focus on playing the game and leave the refereeing to the referees, then we focus on doing what we can do – that thing that defines us and gives us a lift when we are DOING it. The second hardest part of life is to find that “thing” that only you do, but the hardest part of life is keeping focused on it.

The Penguins played their heart out and moved past the need to referee and eventually they won the game.

Categories: Belief, Context, Life, Sports, Uncategorized

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