christopherhildreth

In the scientific realm there are discussions about a substance called Black Matter. This material is theoretically what connects the universe and holds everything together. Perhaps in the theoretical field the answer is Black Matter, but in the sociological field the substance that holds all of us together is Relationships.

Relationships are unique things. A relationship doesn’t just happen because two people get to know each other. A true relationship happens when two people are willing to talk and listen to each other. The skill of listening actively to each other means letting life open up in front of you.  It means having truthful conversations that give vocal opportunity to everyone and each of those who have spoken feel that they have been heard because the listeners are listening well.

Imagine the last time you were in a conversation. How would you have felt if you had been able to contribute and had felt that everyone listened to your perspective? People sometimes sit quietly in discussions because one or two people are talking non stop about what matters to them. When one takes a break the other begins. This continues several times and then everyone leaves saying that “we had a good meeting”.

The truth is that valuable insight was lost because of the inability of the leader to listen instead of feeling the need to be heard him or herself. The biggest key in conversations is for us to come together as equals. In conversation there is no king and there are no peons – there can’t be for true conversation to take place. When we shed our titles and roles and simply come together as human beings, we are able to hear from varied perspectives. Though a certain answer may not come out of meeting (it seldom does), it should increase our levels of curiosity as something to be relished and sought after. The more we listen, and listen well, the more holistic a perspective all involved will have.

This next week seek out having conversations. but not so that you can be heard. In the conversation, provide plenty of time to listen completely so that the person talking feels they are being heard. You’ll find that if you do that, you will also have plenty of time to talk about the things that you care about.

Before the Internet, email, faxes and phones – even before paper and pen, human beings communicated by having conversations. Building relationships through conversations is the only way true change will ever happen.

This entry was posted on September 27, 2008 at 5:00 pm and is filed under Awareness, Influence, People, Rhythm. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.

Tags: communicating, conversations, relationships